Saturday, September 10, 2011

Love, Forgive, Repeat

Friends will steal from you if they knew they would get away with it, and sometimes even that assurance is not necessary for them to jack your stuff. Friends will chat about you, no gossip, to others about your shortcomings. Friends will literally step on your back at the chance of coming closer to the summit on the rock of achievement. Friends will gently listen to your most delicate insecurities and load them up in their insult rifle, finger pressed tightly on the trigger, to fire back at you as soon as you offer a criticism of your own about them. Friends will look at your shortcomings and relish in them, knowing that at something somehow somewhere, they are better than you.

So let them be better, let them hit you with their best shot of what they think will hurt you the most. Let friends use you to get ahead in life, let them talk about you to make themselves feel at ease with their own person, and yes, let them take your money. Thank them for being part of your life, forget that you loved them and they hurt you, and forgive. Don’t forgive just to let them off the hook, though that is a residual effect of such, but rather to live your life in illustrious glory.

You did not choose to want to be around people, it was already in your DNA from birth, or maybe prior? Our collective desire to be around others is fueled by the utter sense of fulfillment people bring. Validation of being is only truly achieved through the prism of others, as we are never fully able to become sincerely sure of our life course alone. People matter.

Our entrĂ©e to deep relationships with people is trust, that sticky thing that can so quickly get broken. Trust allows us to open up, hey I trust you, so I’m going to tell you that I have awful sleep patterns, and anxiety, should I see a doctor or drink less coffee? Trust destroys walls of secrecy so the true you can arrive. Trust is reciprocal, you can’t fly the friendly skies because you’re claustrophobic, you think your neighbor Bill is stalking your wife, I’m here for you.

We have to invest our trust in order to receive the pearl that is friendship. We have to put everything on the line to say, you know what, even if this person does me worse than anyone ever has, the fact I have a chance to build a meaningful relationship upon which both our lives could be richer is more important, the risk is worth taking.

So let ‘em talk, let ‘em run wild all over your heart, because in the end, when you love, you forgive, and when you repeat the process you open your life up to endless amounts of beautiful, saint-like, amazing people.

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